My UPCAT story’s a very simple one. It first started when i had a crush on a guy, a guy named James. He was my busmate and he’s a volunteer sacristan in our church. He’s very nice, fair skinned, well tanned. He’s also tall and plays basketball. He lived very near our place and i always notice him, sitting beside the door of the bus. He’s very good at drawing, while wait he’d draw marvel characters and such. Oh and he’s got a very deep voice too. I was the president of the World of Art Club then, and he was also one of the members.
James has been my crush for a long time. I even wanted to cut my swimming class just so I could watch him perform on a play! Oh gosh! He was older than me by 1 level and then I found out that he passed the UPCAT. I didn’t know UPCAT then, I just knew he passed the UP entrance exam and was going to go study there.
When I entered my senior year, that was my goal, pass the UPCAT. Well, it was my goal on the summer too. But it was intensified when I started studying again. It’s the only buzz people was talking about, “have you filled up your form?” “what’s your first choice?” “what campus are you going to choose?” “don’t put a quota-quota combination.. do a quoata-non-quota mix up just in case you didn’t qualify for your first choice.”
It was the most important thing, at least that was, in my opinion. I remember losing my first cellphone because of it. Gwen and I were busy looking at the UP course list, making comments on what was a quota course, and what other weird courses UP has come up with. I was leaning in on Gwen in the jeepney too engrossed in our conversation that I didn’t even notice that the guy on my right slashed opened my bag and took my cellphone! I lost my cellphone and a decent bag that day.
Our school arranged our papers for us, so we didn’t have to go to Diliman to do everything. All we had to do was pass the requirements to the guidance councillor. After a few days of waiting you’d get your schedule and all the reminders about taking the exam. Bring two pens, eraser. All that shiz. So the day came when i had to take the exam. Was i ready? May be, who knows. I was studying everybit as hard as anyone, im sure. I was going to take the exam in the morning at the Palma Hall, which in my uni years i would eventually call AS. I remember, Gwen even took the exam at the math building, my mom bought KFC for me, for my lunch.
I went down our van and saw the queue of students outside the building. I saw Len Camit and JB waived at them and went behind them. Jb and I weren’t friends back then, mere acquaintances. I remember jb saying, “i really don’t care for this exam, what really matters to me is the ACET.” Jb went on and passed the ACET and studied in ateneo.
Anyway, we entered our designated rooms. They allowed you to eat food during the exams as there were no breaks. So there were tons of food underneath my armchair. I could still recall my seatmate, whose chair was filled with chips and chocolates. During the line, we were even talking about what kind of food people would bring. “pano kaya kung magdala ka ng bagoong?” Then the proctor came in, now i don’t remember if it was a boy or girl. Really bad memory.
I took the test. I came out not feeling confident at all. Everyone found it easy, but I didn’t. It was deflating and i told my mom not to keep her hopes up.
You take the UPCAT at August, and the results come on only after February. It was a very long wait. But, like anything else, you’ll forget about it. You won’t feel agitated about it anymore. Next bout was the ACET, then the DLSU exam and lastly the UST exam. So many things will happen. Senior year, we had CAT. I joined the model company to compete with other schools for dumbass rifle drills. We sucked and lost. Haha. I procrastinated during the exam months on my modules, so now I was trying to catch up. It was easy to catch up anyhow, all you have to do is study on the important subjects and copy exams on the lame ones. We had tons of extracurricular too. First was that song and dance interpretation of a religious original song. We had to practice during and after class hours. It was an inter-class competition. We came in 2nd place! Then we had this Song-lyrics recited. It was a play but the words should be lyrics of songs. Gwen and I wrote it, and I directed the play. We came in 3rd place! Yey! So really no time for studying. We even had to go to school every Saturday for the stupid NSAT review.
Then during December came in the retreat and the bivouac. Retreat, for me was super fun, like afterwards you feel like you can die and you’re surely going to heaven. But it didn’t start out like that of course. Junnis and I were always late when it came to the group activities.
Then there was the bivouac! I miss the Charlie Company and Leslie! In CAT, you always had to have a buddy with you. Unfortunately, Leslie my closest friend in the Charlie Company was NOT my buddy. So what we did, we made a 4-woman buddy system. We dragged along our assigned buddies wherever so that we can still hang out! Hehe. Leslie was super fun to be with when it was time for CAT. She sang the Three blind mice, rock version! And we’re always making fun of our dorky CAT officers behind their backs. Especially those who were taking it waaaay too seriously. We’d always get punished for it though. But annoying them was worth it. I remember the lameass terms they wanted us to adapt. Oh gosh, just remembering makes me want to puke! And here they are:
“Pusang allowance” – how lame! They shout this when they want to curse.
“Pipe down” – term for quiet down, i guess they didn’t invent this one, but it was used sooo much, i just wanted to say, up your ass. Hehe.
“Why laugh?” – removing linking verbs! Ugh! We always got this one.
Hehe. It was so much fun how the officers get annoyed when you didn’t salute them on corridors though! Hehe. But all in all, i super enjoyed the bivouac. Our company commander was super laid back. He didn’t care about all the power trip shiz. And we were all in all the happiest company, for sure. We even won the intercompany competition the following year! That’s only coz we copied each other’s answers during the exam. Since we all studied for the model exam, me and other model members shared everything with everyone. CAT can be so much fun. I learned alot about marching. cramming for exams!
The following year came in. DLSU and ACET came in... i didn’t pass both! Huhu
Just kidding. I passed. Hehe.
But I didn’t hold my breath for them. I was suffocated by the uncertainty of the UPCAT results. Then February came. People immediately went to Diliman, and I learned from my friends, that my name wasn’t on the list.
Just kidding. It was on the list. And I passed! YEY again! Of course, i still had to go there and confirm, even if I already checked it online.
So that’s it, I enrolled in the University of the Philippines, Diliman. BS Computer Science. Batch 2001. Block G26. Then it went back to James. I was excited, maybe I might see him on campus. I wonder what college he was on. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know what he was taking up. So I asked Tina, about it. Then she told me, James was taking up BS Biology. I was thrilled! ... Tina continued, He’s taking up Biology in UP Manila.
Bummer.
Friday, October 17, 2008
UPAA-UAE General Assembly Oct 17 2008
Attended my first GA with the UPAA here in dubai. Twas held at Metropolitan Hotel lunch time. Food was OK, for 130dirhams. So, it was fun. Lots of people attended. This is my, hmm i don’t know.. nth time to attend a UPAA event.
First was when we held the Job fair here in dubai, we hosted a job fair to help our kababayans who are stuck here without a job. Dubai’s a nasty place for the jobless. it was successful and not so successful at the same time. It was successful because tons of people turned up. And it was not successful because TONS OF PEOPLE TURNED UP! Yup. We didn’t expect that much response from an event publicized by word of mouth and email. The venue was too small and not everyone was let in.
Second event was the, after party we went to this hotel, i forgot the name, in Sheik sayed. Very posh. To commemorate the success of the job fair event.
Third event was the failed Picasso event. We went all the way to abu dhabi for nothing. Well, not nothing, it was worth seeing Abu dhabi and visiting this huge house of one of the members.
Fourth event was when one of the members died. I didn’t know her, but we offered a mass for her in Jebel Ali. It was a very sad day. I almost cried, but i didn’t. Then we ate in a flat on one of the members. It was funny, because her daughters were half Italian and looked very very European. Then suddenly said to me. “akala mo hindi ako marunong magtagalog noh!” hehe. Pinoy na pinoy magtagalog!
So, this is the fifth event! They told me they hold a GA twice a year. One in October and another on February. It was fun. They once again did this super funny skit of the life of Filipinos here in dubai. Its like one of those UP-Rep skits. And much like cursor, problems of the org are the not-so-active members and fund raising! And of course events to be done!
After the long meeting, a few members went to Seattle’s best to discuss what are the next events of the org. Some of it were super outrageous! But i hope it’ll push through..
more or less napag-usapan lang naman what will be in store for our ORG in the days to come..
eto sure na ata:
- Dhow Cruise – a cruise! Along dubai creek
- desert safari – safari with camels, Arabic food and belly dancing Arabic women
eto mga ibang suggestions
- friday exercise - exercise daw tayo, everyfriday together sa safa park! kahit walking lang, mga 6am.
- holloween/costume party this oct 31! - theme? venue? -- to be determined!
- camping every month!
- beach sa abu dhabi!
- beach sa fujairah!
- buddy system -- parang may old-member, new-member partnership parang yung old member yung mag-eengganyo sa new-member to be active
- Celebrity Golf - para ambitious naman daw
- Wine tasting -
- gagawa daw si obet ng DubaiYuki Monologues
- i-hire natin emirates airlines
- mag-hire ng orchestra
- kuha tayo ng flat tapos paupahan natin -- fund raising
- gawa tayo ng musical!
- dalin natin dito yung UPCAT the movie
- film showing for members
- gawa tayo ng musical. -- hehe
- Poetry reading
- volleyball
- badminton
- broccoli night-- lahat ng handa broccoli, tapos lahat tayo nakacostume na broccoli
- cheese tasting
- cigar night
- Caroling! for christmas! - super practice tapos, dapat may blending at iba ibang voices ma-showcase natin!
- caroling - tapos may kasamang artist, kunwari si sharon cuneta kasama natin.
Alin sa tingin nyo suggestion ko??? Hehe. Yun lang.
I particularly like the broccoli night! Hehe.
First was when we held the Job fair here in dubai, we hosted a job fair to help our kababayans who are stuck here without a job. Dubai’s a nasty place for the jobless. it was successful and not so successful at the same time. It was successful because tons of people turned up. And it was not successful because TONS OF PEOPLE TURNED UP! Yup. We didn’t expect that much response from an event publicized by word of mouth and email. The venue was too small and not everyone was let in.
Second event was the, after party we went to this hotel, i forgot the name, in Sheik sayed. Very posh. To commemorate the success of the job fair event.
Third event was the failed Picasso event. We went all the way to abu dhabi for nothing. Well, not nothing, it was worth seeing Abu dhabi and visiting this huge house of one of the members.
Fourth event was when one of the members died. I didn’t know her, but we offered a mass for her in Jebel Ali. It was a very sad day. I almost cried, but i didn’t. Then we ate in a flat on one of the members. It was funny, because her daughters were half Italian and looked very very European. Then suddenly said to me. “akala mo hindi ako marunong magtagalog noh!” hehe. Pinoy na pinoy magtagalog!
So, this is the fifth event! They told me they hold a GA twice a year. One in October and another on February. It was fun. They once again did this super funny skit of the life of Filipinos here in dubai. Its like one of those UP-Rep skits. And much like cursor, problems of the org are the not-so-active members and fund raising! And of course events to be done!
After the long meeting, a few members went to Seattle’s best to discuss what are the next events of the org. Some of it were super outrageous! But i hope it’ll push through..
more or less napag-usapan lang naman what will be in store for our ORG in the days to come..
eto sure na ata:
- Dhow Cruise – a cruise! Along dubai creek
- desert safari – safari with camels, Arabic food and belly dancing Arabic women
eto mga ibang suggestions
- friday exercise - exercise daw tayo, everyfriday together sa safa park! kahit walking lang, mga 6am.
- holloween/costume party this oct 31! - theme? venue? -- to be determined!
- camping every month!
- beach sa abu dhabi!
- beach sa fujairah!
- buddy system -- parang may old-member, new-member partnership parang yung old member yung mag-eengganyo sa new-member to be active
- Celebrity Golf - para ambitious naman daw
- Wine tasting -
- gagawa daw si obet ng DubaiYuki Monologues
- i-hire natin emirates airlines
- mag-hire ng orchestra
- kuha tayo ng flat tapos paupahan natin -- fund raising
- gawa tayo ng musical!
- dalin natin dito yung UPCAT the movie
- film showing for members
- gawa tayo ng musical. -- hehe
- Poetry reading
- volleyball
- badminton
- broccoli night-- lahat ng handa broccoli, tapos lahat tayo nakacostume na broccoli
- cheese tasting
- cigar night
- Caroling! for christmas! - super practice tapos, dapat may blending at iba ibang voices ma-showcase natin!
- caroling - tapos may kasamang artist, kunwari si sharon cuneta kasama natin.
Alin sa tingin nyo suggestion ko??? Hehe. Yun lang.
I particularly like the broccoli night! Hehe.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Quotables From UP
"Isang Machine Problem lang ang requirement ko sa class na ito. Wala
nang exam, babagsak lang din naman kayo."
-RB Chua(CS 191 Machine Learning)
"Hindi kayo pinag-aaral sa UP para lang magtrabaho sa call center.Kung
balak n'yong magtrabaho sa call center pag graduate n'yo, ngayon pa
lang magdrop na kayo sa UP."
-Dr VP Magboo
"Ang Pag-aaral sa 'Big Three' maikukumpara sa pag-aaral magswimming:
Sa La Salle, aalalayan ka mula simula hanggang matuto kang lumangoy.
Kahit marunong ka na aalalayan ka pa rin. Sa Ateneo,
aalalayan ka sa simula hanggang matuto kang lumangoy. Kapag marunong
kana, papabayaan ka nang mag-isa. Sa UP, itutulak ka sa tubig,
papabayaan kang malunod hanggang matuto kang lumangoy."
-Roderico de Armas(Math 17)
"The aim of policy making is to invoke action! Because action speaks
louder than words! You do not just say I love you. You say: If you
love me, enter me! "
- Dr. Alfonso Pacquing
"Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo. I am having a hard
time checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do
about it. Class don't worry about your grade. Let me worry about it."
- Sir de jesus, envi sci 1
(valentines day) "Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa
ng scores niyo? Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya ganito
kayo. Losers!!! When i was your age i had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan
ng UP FAIR euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di kayo masaya..."
(sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.)
- Sir Doliente, BA
Ma'am: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read
minds... (silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm bluffing
- Ma'am Chei Billedo, Psych
"I don't give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!"
- Ma'am Chei
"The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag
may kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!!!
- Dr. Recio
"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket? aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun."
- Sir Atoy Navarro, histo I
(commenting on a thesis of a senior student) 'Yang thesis mo? ..
Mamamatay ka!! Mamamatay ka!!'
- Dr. llanes, UPM
"Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya kung gusto niyong
magka-anak ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang gumagawa."
- Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10
"Last sem was the first time that I gave a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class
"Atheist ako, pero pag nasa bahay, nagro rosary kami ng Nanay ko, eh
kung magalit sa kin yun.
- Socio 11 Prof
"You do not fall in love; you rise in love. That's how you love rationally."
- Dr. FG david
"Try to die! Try to die!"
- sir billones, on a student who is palpitating while taking the exam.
"Anong molars? You don't say molars because it is an adjective! Do you
say beautifuls?"
- ma'am ilao, to a student who said "n molars"
"Kahit magpakamatay ka pa di mo masasagot yang problem set na yan
dahil pang-157 (phy chem II) yan!"
- ibid
"Do not memorize! Analyze!"
- doc nic, advising us, her students never to memorize reaction mechanisms
"Kaya nga ideal eh, hindi siya nangyayari sa totoong buhay. Pero an
approximation is good enough"
- sir engle, on ideal and real systems
"Don't take the BAR and yourselves too seriously. Baka mabalitaan
nalang namin na nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O
lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River . Enjoy yourselves, relax, and read
at
least 15 hours a day. Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. MAg relax ka
habang nagbabasa. Magrelax habang nagmi-memorize. "
"Pag nananaba ka sa oras ng exams, ibig sabihin di ka papasa."
"Oh the BAR isn't scary. It's terrifying. It might even kill you."
Ito naman from our Prof. Ancient: "Mga engineers? Nako. Bihira
pumapasa sa BAR."
"UP ka nag-undergrad? Bright ka ba?"
"Sa mga taga-UP lang ako bilib eh. Pagpasok nila sa lawschool, hindi
sila disoriented. Bilib ako sa study habits na meron yang mga batang
yan. Some of them look like they eat kamote thrice a day, pero ang
utak, di ututin!" (ewan ko kung matutuwa ako dito o hindi)
sabi ng aming dean who is 80 yrs old, "class you're laughing now, but
i will predecease you all"
prof: O, meron na bang nakapunta sa inyong XXX
class: (tahimik)
prof: (medyo nadisappoint) Ano?! Puro na lang ba kayo aral? Aral na
lang kayo ng aral, ha? Wala na kayong napupuntahan kakaaral niyo!
same prof: Nakita niyo na ba ang Hoover dam?
class: (tahimik uli)
prof: Hehehehe, ang yabang ko talaga!
Second day of classes
Same Prof: (kinuha ang box ng colored chalks) Ano ba naman ito...
(tapos iniitsa sa lamesa yung mga dark colored chalks)
class: (tahimik na nagmamasid)
Prof: Class, sulatan niyo ang manufacturer ng chalk na ito, at
sabihing tanggalin na ang mga walang kwentang kulay na ito... brown,
green, violet. hindi makikita ito sa board. Convince them
class: (tahimik at gulat)
Prof: and .25 incentive sa final grade niyo!
terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng class..): ok class..
see you next sem!
"The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut your mouth. This is
because the more that you learn, the more you realize that there are
even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a
loudmouth, the true mark of a wise man is humility"
- Paraphrased galing kay PI100.
"IE? Di naman engineering yun e"
-Thesis adviser
Classmate: Ma'am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report?
Ma'am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.
galing kay sir U eliserio during creative writing class...
"try everything once except incest"
and one day pumasok ng room, galit na galit. hinagis ang bag sa table,
nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw nasagot ng previous class
niya ang question niya. kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot
may plus points. kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami. ang tanong....
"class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years"?
"Mamatay na mangopya..."
saka
"Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!".
"im gay. so gay i could show you my penis because it is but an
accessory to my body"
- jean navera, spcm1
FIRST DAY OF CLASSES: "Kung may boyfriend o girlfriend kayo na hindi
taga-UP, hiwalayan niyo na agad. Walang pupuntahan yan. Hindi kayo
magkaka-intindihan. Tapos yung mga anak niyo, magiging bobo. Gusto
niyo ba yun?"
ANOTHER PROF: "Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend dito sa UP.
Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito. Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the
child's intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag
kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo anak
niyo.">
STUDENT: Sir, pwede po magpa-sit in yung friends ko?
PROF: From what school are they?
STUDENT: St. Scho po.
PROF: "Go ahead. So they'll realize what they're missing. St. Scho,
St. Scho... eskwelahan na ba yun sa inyo?!"
sa PHILO: "I THINK THEREFORE I AM FROM UP!"
"Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi
ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh, I used to teach there... at
lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung
sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga
kakaulit ng lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least
nagkakaintindihan tayo. Diba?"
"We do not accept anyone here in class except for those who are
members of a certain minority group. For example, gays are part of a
minority group, bakla ka ba? If you admit to this class that you are
gay, then I'll admit you"
- Prof "hail to the chair", to a guy student na nagpre-prerog
"kapatid ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw. ergo, gma's marriage to mike
arroyo is null and void ab initio."
consti law class, 1st sem, AY 2005-06
"running for summa ka? mapapagod ka lang."
"Si Miriam, crush ko 'yun dati. Muntikan na maging kami, kaso
nasiraanng ulo, kaya 'yun, iba ang asawa ko."
"Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English, so when you're here in
class, magsalita kayo ng English! Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda
na ako at ako ang teacher!"
Ma'am Vitriolo (2nd to the last meeting)
Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.
Sabi ng Prof ko dahil may kaklase akong recite ng recite w/o raising
her hand: "I think this is the first time i have a student w/ tourette
in my class..."
Recite parin ng recite yung student
"Wow the ejaculatory comments just don't stop!"
from my socsci1 prof last sem: "Birds of the same feather FLOCK
together...don' t forget the L".
"I'll strangle you, strangle you really hard, smack right in your
jugular (pause ng mga 5 seconds), you do know where your jugular is?"
'bakit parang napakaligaya ng klase niyo? maging sad naman kayo, 5
mins.' - prof ko sa math 100.
"well of course when you sell your soul you have to make an elaborate
justification to make yourself feel good."
-Sir Walden Bello, Socio 127, this sem
"punyetissima! " (sosyal pati mura italian!)
"look at me i'm 433 years old pero ang lakas lakas ko pa. eh kung
walang gulay eh di kakain na lang ako ng damo. kung wala eh di tubig,
kung wala mag-ipon na lang ako ng laway."
-Sir Tiamson, Italian 11, this sem
When you graduate, then you begin to live.
-Dr. Carmen Jimenez, Psych 118
from Prof Soresca in my spanish 1 class
Prof:"Mr. Gatbunton, why are you late?!"
Student:"Sorry Mam, galing pa ako Las Pinas."
Prof: "Ladies, don't marry somebody from Las Pinas because they have
bamboo organs!!"
Marx is more Christian than Christ and Christ is more Marxist than
Marx. - Sir Lanuza.
si sir agapito..habang 2nd exam at malakas ang ulan..
"ang lakas ng ulan, ayos yan at least hindi halata pag umiiyak.."
Class: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial points?
Prof: Hmm, if I see partial wisdom.
"It's okay to smoke inside my class. As long as you don't breathe it
out." -Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity
"Oh, this is good. It's poetic because it's perfectly stupid." -
Ricardo de Ungria last week on my classmate's work.
Prof: Did I remind the class last meeting that we're going to have an
exam today?
Class: (dead air)
Prof: Ok, it seems I forgot to remind the class that we're going to
have an exam today. I'm giving you five minutes then to buy a
bluebook. We're going to have an exam today.
sir tiamson (span 11)
"ayan, di ka makasagot. yung bakal sa ngipin mo naapektuhan na yung
pagsasalita mo"
nang exam, babagsak lang din naman kayo."
-RB Chua(CS 191 Machine Learning)
"Hindi kayo pinag-aaral sa UP para lang magtrabaho sa call center.Kung
balak n'yong magtrabaho sa call center pag graduate n'yo, ngayon pa
lang magdrop na kayo sa UP."
-Dr VP Magboo
"Ang Pag-aaral sa 'Big Three' maikukumpara sa pag-aaral magswimming:
Sa La Salle, aalalayan ka mula simula hanggang matuto kang lumangoy.
Kahit marunong ka na aalalayan ka pa rin. Sa Ateneo,
aalalayan ka sa simula hanggang matuto kang lumangoy. Kapag marunong
kana, papabayaan ka nang mag-isa. Sa UP, itutulak ka sa tubig,
papabayaan kang malunod hanggang matuto kang lumangoy."
-Roderico de Armas(Math 17)
"The aim of policy making is to invoke action! Because action speaks
louder than words! You do not just say I love you. You say: If you
love me, enter me! "
- Dr. Alfonso Pacquing
"Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo. I am having a hard
time checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do
about it. Class don't worry about your grade. Let me worry about it."
- Sir de jesus, envi sci 1
(valentines day) "Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa
ng scores niyo? Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya ganito
kayo. Losers!!! When i was your age i had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan
ng UP FAIR euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di kayo masaya..."
(sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.)
- Sir Doliente, BA
Ma'am: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read
minds... (silence) Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm bluffing
- Ma'am Chei Billedo, Psych
"I don't give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!"
- Ma'am Chei
"The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag
may kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!!!
- Dr. Recio
"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket? aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun."
- Sir Atoy Navarro, histo I
(commenting on a thesis of a senior student) 'Yang thesis mo? ..
Mamamatay ka!! Mamamatay ka!!'
- Dr. llanes, UPM
"Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya kung gusto niyong
magka-anak ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang gumagawa."
- Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10
"Last sem was the first time that I gave a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class
"Atheist ako, pero pag nasa bahay, nagro rosary kami ng Nanay ko, eh
kung magalit sa kin yun.
- Socio 11 Prof
"You do not fall in love; you rise in love. That's how you love rationally."
- Dr. FG david
"Try to die! Try to die!"
- sir billones, on a student who is palpitating while taking the exam.
"Anong molars? You don't say molars because it is an adjective! Do you
say beautifuls?"
- ma'am ilao, to a student who said "n molars"
"Kahit magpakamatay ka pa di mo masasagot yang problem set na yan
dahil pang-157 (phy chem II) yan!"
- ibid
"Do not memorize! Analyze!"
- doc nic, advising us, her students never to memorize reaction mechanisms
"Kaya nga ideal eh, hindi siya nangyayari sa totoong buhay. Pero an
approximation is good enough"
- sir engle, on ideal and real systems
"Don't take the BAR and yourselves too seriously. Baka mabalitaan
nalang namin na nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O
lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River . Enjoy yourselves, relax, and read
at
least 15 hours a day. Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. MAg relax ka
habang nagbabasa. Magrelax habang nagmi-memorize. "
"Pag nananaba ka sa oras ng exams, ibig sabihin di ka papasa."
"Oh the BAR isn't scary. It's terrifying. It might even kill you."
Ito naman from our Prof. Ancient: "Mga engineers? Nako. Bihira
pumapasa sa BAR."
"UP ka nag-undergrad? Bright ka ba?"
"Sa mga taga-UP lang ako bilib eh. Pagpasok nila sa lawschool, hindi
sila disoriented. Bilib ako sa study habits na meron yang mga batang
yan. Some of them look like they eat kamote thrice a day, pero ang
utak, di ututin!" (ewan ko kung matutuwa ako dito o hindi)
sabi ng aming dean who is 80 yrs old, "class you're laughing now, but
i will predecease you all"
prof: O, meron na bang nakapunta sa inyong XXX
class: (tahimik)
prof: (medyo nadisappoint) Ano?! Puro na lang ba kayo aral? Aral na
lang kayo ng aral, ha? Wala na kayong napupuntahan kakaaral niyo!
same prof: Nakita niyo na ba ang Hoover dam?
class: (tahimik uli)
prof: Hehehehe, ang yabang ko talaga!
Second day of classes
Same Prof: (kinuha ang box ng colored chalks) Ano ba naman ito...
(tapos iniitsa sa lamesa yung mga dark colored chalks)
class: (tahimik na nagmamasid)
Prof: Class, sulatan niyo ang manufacturer ng chalk na ito, at
sabihing tanggalin na ang mga walang kwentang kulay na ito... brown,
green, violet. hindi makikita ito sa board. Convince them
class: (tahimik at gulat)
Prof: and .25 incentive sa final grade niyo!
terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng class..): ok class..
see you next sem!
"The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut your mouth. This is
because the more that you learn, the more you realize that there are
even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a
loudmouth, the true mark of a wise man is humility"
- Paraphrased galing kay PI100.
"IE? Di naman engineering yun e"
-Thesis adviser
Classmate: Ma'am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report?
Ma'am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.
galing kay sir U eliserio during creative writing class...
"try everything once except incest"
and one day pumasok ng room, galit na galit. hinagis ang bag sa table,
nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw nasagot ng previous class
niya ang question niya. kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot
may plus points. kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami. ang tanong....
"class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years"?
"Mamatay na mangopya..."
saka
"Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!".
"im gay. so gay i could show you my penis because it is but an
accessory to my body"
- jean navera, spcm1
FIRST DAY OF CLASSES: "Kung may boyfriend o girlfriend kayo na hindi
taga-UP, hiwalayan niyo na agad. Walang pupuntahan yan. Hindi kayo
magkaka-intindihan. Tapos yung mga anak niyo, magiging bobo. Gusto
niyo ba yun?"
ANOTHER PROF: "Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend dito sa UP.
Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito. Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the
child's intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag
kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo anak
niyo.">
STUDENT: Sir, pwede po magpa-sit in yung friends ko?
PROF: From what school are they?
STUDENT: St. Scho po.
PROF: "Go ahead. So they'll realize what they're missing. St. Scho,
St. Scho... eskwelahan na ba yun sa inyo?!"
sa PHILO: "I THINK THEREFORE I AM FROM UP!"
"Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi
ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh, I used to teach there... at
lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung
sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga
kakaulit ng lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least
nagkakaintindihan tayo. Diba?"
"We do not accept anyone here in class except for those who are
members of a certain minority group. For example, gays are part of a
minority group, bakla ka ba? If you admit to this class that you are
gay, then I'll admit you"
- Prof "hail to the chair", to a guy student na nagpre-prerog
"kapatid ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw. ergo, gma's marriage to mike
arroyo is null and void ab initio."
consti law class, 1st sem, AY 2005-06
"running for summa ka? mapapagod ka lang."
"Si Miriam, crush ko 'yun dati. Muntikan na maging kami, kaso
nasiraanng ulo, kaya 'yun, iba ang asawa ko."
"Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English, so when you're here in
class, magsalita kayo ng English! Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda
na ako at ako ang teacher!"
Ma'am Vitriolo (2nd to the last meeting)
Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.
Sabi ng Prof ko dahil may kaklase akong recite ng recite w/o raising
her hand: "I think this is the first time i have a student w/ tourette
in my class..."
Recite parin ng recite yung student
"Wow the ejaculatory comments just don't stop!"
from my socsci1 prof last sem: "Birds of the same feather FLOCK
together...don' t forget the L".
"I'll strangle you, strangle you really hard, smack right in your
jugular (pause ng mga 5 seconds), you do know where your jugular is?"
'bakit parang napakaligaya ng klase niyo? maging sad naman kayo, 5
mins.' - prof ko sa math 100.
"well of course when you sell your soul you have to make an elaborate
justification to make yourself feel good."
-Sir Walden Bello, Socio 127, this sem
"punyetissima! " (sosyal pati mura italian!)
"look at me i'm 433 years old pero ang lakas lakas ko pa. eh kung
walang gulay eh di kakain na lang ako ng damo. kung wala eh di tubig,
kung wala mag-ipon na lang ako ng laway."
-Sir Tiamson, Italian 11, this sem
When you graduate, then you begin to live.
-Dr. Carmen Jimenez, Psych 118
from Prof Soresca in my spanish 1 class
Prof:"Mr. Gatbunton, why are you late?!"
Student:"Sorry Mam, galing pa ako Las Pinas."
Prof: "Ladies, don't marry somebody from Las Pinas because they have
bamboo organs!!"
Marx is more Christian than Christ and Christ is more Marxist than
Marx. - Sir Lanuza.
si sir agapito..habang 2nd exam at malakas ang ulan..
"ang lakas ng ulan, ayos yan at least hindi halata pag umiiyak.."
Class: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial points?
Prof: Hmm, if I see partial wisdom.
"It's okay to smoke inside my class. As long as you don't breathe it
out." -Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity
"Oh, this is good. It's poetic because it's perfectly stupid." -
Ricardo de Ungria last week on my classmate's work.
Prof: Did I remind the class last meeting that we're going to have an
exam today?
Class: (dead air)
Prof: Ok, it seems I forgot to remind the class that we're going to
have an exam today. I'm giving you five minutes then to buy a
bluebook. We're going to have an exam today.
sir tiamson (span 11)
"ayan, di ka makasagot. yung bakal sa ngipin mo naapektuhan na yung
pagsasalita mo"
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